waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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