and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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