why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
