Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
