It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
