We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
