Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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