you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
