i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
