is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
