stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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