What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
And then my night got REAL pukey
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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