Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Dear god my vagina.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
