apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
