We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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