I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Randomize
