moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
