You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
