nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
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Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
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