Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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