Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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