we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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