***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize
