i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
