Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
she pinky promised me she was 18
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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