margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
