Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
