I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
