once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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