i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
third nipple confirmed
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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