someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
