u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
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