I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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