I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
