i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
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