Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
