Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
