i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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