I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I touched a dick in church today
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
