This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
