Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
