I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
