peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
