Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
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