I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
