lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
