Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
it's not cheating when I paid for it
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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