Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
