everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
