Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize