My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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