ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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