your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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