In the future we'll all be gay
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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