The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
what day is it and did you see me today?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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