That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
