Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
We were destined to go to rehab together
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
last night I used snow as a chaser
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
