What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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