When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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