OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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