I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
