We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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