Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
